Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
