Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
