so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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