ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize