You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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