youre lurking in front of me
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So much rum. So many feels.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
