I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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