My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
