i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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