Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im about as happy as oj after his trial
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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