Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
