Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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