no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
