i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
