I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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