i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
