You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize