yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
