But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
