Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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