just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize