I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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