I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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