I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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