please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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