I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
