I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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