i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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