Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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