Will you blow on my dice?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
