I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
