Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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