college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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