i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
