i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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