Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
