You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I did not marry a roomba.
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