to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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