Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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