Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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