also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
