We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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