Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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