this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
