I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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