DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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