I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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