are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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