You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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