It's Friday. Sex?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
