so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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