nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We need to get me chipped asap
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize