my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
