What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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