I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize