K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
