oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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